9.25.07

Fall TV Lineup...

I'm certainly not one of those neo-intellectuals who thinks that they are profound and deep because they tell people that they, "don't watch much TV." Bullsh*t. You're just like me--you watch TV all of the time--you just don't watch anything in particular. In fact--TV in general is so bad right now that with the Sopranos going off of the air, LOST is the only non-sports show that I actually schedule around--and it doesn't even come back on the air until February.

However...in an effort to keep this blog relevant, I'm going to use the magic of DVR to try to watch some of the top shows. Here they are:

Family Guy: Now--I guess it is a public admission that I'm a Star Wars geek, but I thought Sunday's premiere was one of the top three episodes in the show's history. Beginning with the opening scene where the CBS Golf Team is talking about how hot Amy Mickelson is during a golf telecast, referencing the size of her rack and how many golf balls she can fit in her mouth---stretching all of the way to the Empire not shooting-down the escape pod with R2D2 and C3P0 in it because budget cuts were limiting the amount of lasers they used. (Note: Family Guy is the closest thing to a "schedule-around" show I can think of---just absolutely the funniest show on television.

Curb Your Enthusiasm: After cancelling the show, bringing Larry back to life, and then reviving it 18 months later, this show has become more convoluted than the Brady Bunch. Quality is down, ridiculousness is up but it doesn't matter because it is a) hilarious, and b) has the hottest 40+ year-old on television. It has found its way off of the schedule-around list--but is ABSOLUTELY a weekly watch.

How I Met Your Mother: Okay--this show is still too entertaining to stop watching, but gets more and more gay every episode. The big thing that I don't understand is how Ted continues to get outrageously hot chicks despite being a complete tool. First it was the hooker/paralegal, then it was Victoria (easily the hottest), then of course Robin, and now last night, Mandy Moore. It really brings down the beauty of Neil Patrick Harris (a homosexual) playing the ultimate a**hole.

House: I loved this show in the first season when it was a Law and Order-style "watch one episode here and there and not have to worry about plot-development" kind of show. Then it got popular, they started underlying themes, and it all went to crap.
However...Omar Epps was written out of the show--so I'm back in.

Others I'm trying to watch to stay hip:
The Office
Gang Bang (or Big Bang or something)


Any other suggestions?



Learn Something...

I'm tired of hearing that "Sports isn't News". That's ludicrous.

If you don't want to watch sports, fine.

If you think that other things are more important than sports, fine.



But Sports IS News. In fact--sports is more relevant than many allow it to be. This was most-recently brought to my attention by my former-roommate who mentioned how angry his dad became at a dinner party when someone had never heard of Ty Cobb.

It brings up a decent point though--there are people in sports that EVERYONE should know. Just like EVERYONE should know whether or not someone has been President of the United States. (For the record, my friend Tom--a political science major and a professional lobbyist once bet me that Chester A. Arthur was NOT a US President. Poor Tom...)

SO...


Here is a list of people you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO RECOGNIZE BY NAME. Maybe they're an all-time great, maybe they're news-worthy, maybe Stuart Scott would call them "Now." But whatever the reason for their fame--this is the BARE-MINIMUM of people you can attach a sport to upon hearing their name. So if you don't recognize one of them, LOOK THEM UP!



By sport... (And note that the number of people listed is in direct correlation to the social relevance of the sport.)

(Oh--PLEASE send further suggestions to me...I'm sure I left some people off.)


Baseball

Hank Aaron

Johnny Bench

Yogi Berra

Barry Bonds

Roger Clemens

Roberto Clemente

Ty Cobb

Joe Dimaggio

Carlton Fisk

Lou Gehrig

Ken Griffey Jr.

Joe Jackson

Sandy Kolfax

Greg Maddux

Mickey Mantle

Willie Mays

Cal Ripken

Jackie Robinson

Alex Rodriguez

Pete Rose

Ozzie Smith

George Steinbrenner

Babe Ruth

Ted Williams

Cy Young


Basketball

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Lew Alcindor

Carmello Anthony

Red Auerbach

Charles Barkley

Rick Barry

Len Bias

Sam Bowie

Kobe Bryant

Wilt Chamberlain

Bob Cousy

Kevin Durant

Julius Erving

Patrick Ewing

Phil Jackson

Lebron James

Earvin “Magic” Johnson

Michael Jordan

Bobby Knight

Mike Krzyzewski

Christian Laettner

Karl Malone

Moses Malone

Pete Maravich

Greg Oden

Hakeem Olajuwan

Shaquille O’Neal

Scottie Pippen

Oscar Robertson

Dennis Rodman

Bill Russell

John Stockton

Isaiah Thomas

Dick Valvano

Dick Vitale

Bill Walton

Dwayne Wade

John Wooden





Football



Marcus Allen

Tom Brady

Jim Brown

Reggie Bush

Dick Butkus

Terry Bradshaw

Paul "Bear" Bryant

Mike Ditka

John Elway

Brett Favre

Vince Lombardi

Ronnie Lott

John Madden

Dan Marino

Peyton Manning

Randy Moss

Joe Namath

Joe Paterno

Walter Payton

Bill Parcells

Ahmad Rashad

Jerry Rice

Barry Sanders

Deion Sanders

Bo Schembechler

OJ Simpson

Emmitt Smith
Roger Staubach

Lawrence Taylor

Jim Thorpe

Ladanian Tomlinson

Brian Urlacher

Michael Vick

Reggie White

(Note: I didn't include Vince Young on this list--but he is darn close. I still hold a grudge for his childish "It's obvious that the voters weren't watching my games" comments after he lost the '05 Heisman to perhaps the best college football player of his generation in Reggie Bush...but I absolutely believe that this guy is the real deal. CLEARLY the best player of that draft at this point.)

(Oh--I also didn't include Mike Gundy on that list.)

Hockey



Wayne Gretzky

Mario Lemiuex

Bobby Orr



Golf


Ben Hogan

Bobby Jones

Jack Nicklaus

Phil Mickelson

Arnold Palmer

Gary Player

Brett Schlameus

Payne Stewart

Tom Watson

Tiger Woods

Babe Didrickson-Zaharias



Soccer



Beckham
Pele



Tennis



Andre Agassi

Arthur Ashe

Bjorn Borg

Chris Evert

Roger Federer

Billy Jean King

Anna Kournikova

John McEnroe

Martina Navratilova

Pete Sampras

Maria Sharapova

Serena Williams

Venus Williams



NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt

Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Jeff Gordon

Richard Petty



Cycling



(Sorry--I said SPORTS.)



Boxing



Muhammad Ali

Cassius Clay

Evander Holyfield

Oscar De la Hoya

Roberto Duran

Joe Frazier

Sugar Ray Leonard

Joe Louis

Rocky Marciano

Sugar Ray Robinson

Mike Tyson