10.22.07

In Peril...

As many of you have surely seen on television, Southern California is on fire.

Here are some simple facts about what is going on:

-13 fires presently burning (not including the fire in my soul that burns for thee...)

-Temperatures will be above 90 degrees until Thursday, with humidity under 15%

-Winds are sustained between 25-35 mph, with gusts up to 90.

-The "Irvine" Fire is obvi the one closest to me...about ten miles away. Assuming 30 mph winds...I'll be burned to pieces in slightly less than 20 minutes.

-Many people have said that it smells like a campfire is burning next to us---I disagree---I think it smells more like 3800 acres of uninhabited land are burning less than ten miles away.

-There is a sweeping wall of smoke that runs from the fire, directly over my office, directly over my home, out to Newport Pier...it's like Independence Day except in the REAL Southern California disaster, Will Smith's wife only LOOKS like a hooker.

-24 Hour Fitness has remained opened, and has stuck by their member-loyal policy of "No Air Conditioning at any time", so I'm hocking up more phlegm than that chick who ran the San Francisco Women's Marathon while smoking 18 cigars.

-Neither youtube, google video or SNL Transcripts is allowing me access to the classic footage after the California fires of about 20 years ago, where Phil Hartman, playing Frankenstein, gave a report on Weekend Update where he just said, "Fire...BURN!" over and over again.

-The wind has strewn things everywhere...there is smoke in the air, fire in the distance in two directions, all of the street-lights are out...it looks like a game of Sim City where someone forgot to turn off "Disaster Mode". (I'm waiting for Godzilla to walk through my building.)

-I just saw that the Irvine Fire was 0% contained. That's reassuring.

-The Seattle Seahawks have given their support to the local firefighters, offering to let them burn Shaun Alexander alive if it will save anyone down here.

So please pray for the fires to go out---there are tens of thousands of Newpsies who won't be able to sunbathe until they're contained.


This week's Poll

Tough loss for Cal...great comeback for LSU...Florida looks AWESOME...South Florida is back to Earth...Ty Willingham is still the worst division I head football coach...

McFly's Top 25
(BCS Ranking in parenthesis)

1 (1). Ohio State: They look good. They won't run the table, but they deserve to be number one right now.
2 (2). Boston College: Same as previous--but they COULD run the table...
3 (3). LSU: Easily the best team in the country--but the loss will keep them at #3 until OSU or BC loses...
4 (5). Oregon: BARELY behind LSU at this point. Many of you don't realize the extent to which I hate Oregon...and I LOVE this team. They have the best offense in the country. (I'm going to go vomit now.)
5 (6). Oklahoma: If LSU, Oregon and Oklahoma all finish with one loss (and there are no unbeatens) they're probably going to get left-out...which is a shame. VERY talented team.
6 (4). Arizona State: Did you see they signed Jack Elway this weekend? Maybe Denny is going after rich-kids now so he can pay the poor kids even more...
7 (11). Florida: More raw talent than any team in the country. SO fast...
8 (12). USC: Win against Oregon this week and they're in the top 5, EASY.
9 (10). South Florida: I'd love to see them win out. They deserve a BCS bid--they're easily the best team in the Big East.
10 (9). Kansas: They're for real. A win in Boulder--while not what it once was--is still a big win. They could be undefeated playing Oklahoma in the Big 12 title game and still have NO chance of getting into the BCS...playoff much??
11 (7). West Virginia: Am I the only person who noticed that they got SMACKED in their only tough game this year?
12 (14). Kentucky: The SEC is just too tough for a talented, but un-physical (that isn't English) team to survive every week. If this were basketball, this is the kind of talented team that could make a run to a National Title.
13 (13). Missouri: I refuse to watch them play. No reason...just refuse to.
14 (20). Michigan: Yes, Michigan. They're going to win the Big 10. Mark my words.
15 (17). Hawaii: Looking good heading into the Thanksgiving Week matchup against Boise State which will determine this year's "Crappy Team with a Great Record and an Inferiority Complex" World Championship.
16 (21). California: Unfortunately, with injuries and a brutal schedule, these last two weeks won't be the last two losses for Cal...the spiral is going to be tough to stop. (The good news--they still get to play Washington!)
17 (8). Virginia Tech: Terrible football team. They're going to lose at some point...
18 (24). Alabama: Saban wins. As does Dennis Erickson. Ty Willingham? He loses.
19 (16). South Carolina: Is this team just going to be mired in seasons of 9-10 wins, without ever threatening for an SEC title?
20 (Unranked). UCLA: Big win this weekend...undefeated in the Pac-10. Bad News? They already played Washington.
21 (25). Penn State: I can't decide what to think of this team. I think they beat OSU though...
22 (22). Auburn: Looked great Saturday in the loss...they'll pull of a couple of good ones before the season is up...
23 (18). Georgia: on my mind.
24 (15). Virginia: They're number 15 in the BCS? Really? (Of course, Carrot Top is ranked 18th...so maybe that isn't a stretch.)
25 (Unranked). Rutgers: Big win this week...there football team however is comprised of a bunch of nappy hoes.

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