11.7.07

In the Beginning was the Word...

What does the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Is it a good joke? No.

Is it relevant to what I'm writing about today? Not really.

But who the hell are you to tell me how to write?

The point of the story is that I'm occasionally frowned-at, dumped-on, and berated for frequently making religious references during the course of my blog.

But here's the thing:

God exists--and it amazes me that people can see the irony behind Ty Willingham being the "spokesman" for DiGiorno, but they can't recognize that a greater being put us on the planet.

Don't believe me? It just so happens that I stumbled across a list of evidence in the fact that there is a God (and he is the same God who came back for a reunion tour in Bethlehem about two-hundred one decades ago).



Here it be, and be it here:

-The Banana: I believe a lot of things...I do not believe that an explosion in the universe can set-off a chain of events that leads to the world's most-perfect (natural) food, encased in a perfect casing that gives us a Hypercolor indication as to when that food is ready to eat. Call me crazy!

-Sex: Ironic that the thing that is so taboo amongst churchly-types is pure evidence--that someone pretty witty had to be up there to make sure that the most-pleasurable thing in the world was the thing that ensured that species would continue to exist! Hmmm??

-The Bible: Yes, it gives a pretty firm-clad indication as to the history of mankind, and the reincarnation of God in the form of Jesus---but we'll leave that out of it.
For those of you who see the Bible as nothing more than religious marketing...here is your challenge for the evening:
Write me a book that

A) Is consistent enough that someone who only knows the story from a 30,000 ft. view can open any page and understand what is going on...

B) Is every bit as applicable today as it was 2000 years ago.

I'll expect the submissions to be double-spaced and with footnotes instead of end notes or bibliography.

-Natalie Portman: She is God's gift to the Earth, explaining to Jews everywhere that, "You all can be this attractive if you give Jesus a little more credit!"

-Dr. Pepper: Oh...wait...that was for my list of "Evidence that Satan exists on Earth."

-C+C Music Factory: You're telling me that Freedom Williams could pull dance moves and break-off poetic lyrics like, "Let me see ya MOVE!" without the influence of a divine being? HA! I think not!


-Talking Animals: Because Buddha didn't have a sense of humor...

And aside from that...

There is a big sign with Uncle Sam on it between Seattle and Portland that tells me every time I pass that God does exist (and that Liberals are bringing down society.)


Not a zealot? mcflyblogs@gmail.com