9.18.07

From the Arnolds...

Today marks the beginning of our guest-lecture series...but I've got a moment in the airport, so I'll add a little something before I go.

Flight 126

Santa Ana/Orange County/John Wayne/Cedric Ceballos International Airport is unique in the sense that it doesn't allow flights to take off or land at night, so as to avoid breaking the noise ordinance--furthermore--flights that do take off and land do so on idle for further compliance.

So the 7:55 USAIR flight to Las Vegas is the first of the day---and in looking around the terminal--it is going to be the least-raucous flight to Vegas that I've ever been on. There are probably 45 people here right now, and 30 of them have laptops--pretty normal for a morning flight---the one exception is the guy to my left. Simple description:

Shaved head.
Asleep.
Ipod nubs in ears.
Chanel sunglasses on.
Black/gold vellure jumpsuit.
Rolex about three links too big.

Something tells me:
a) He's not going for business (at least a legitimate business)
b) He's made this trip before.

Pucky

My brother and I invented a game when we were young. It involved one of those tie-dyed-looking colorful balls that they sell in the bins at K-Mart, one old metal softball bat per player, and endless chasing of one-another around the yard, while one person led the ball around on the ground with his bat...it was called, "Pucky".

Two facts about Pucky:

1) It didn't involve a puck
2) It has always been understood in our family that Pucky was the sport that, as a child, I was significantly better than my brother at---yet there was no scoring system to the game.

SHUT UP.

Did anyone see the Florida student who got tasered at a John Kerry speech? I love this. Moments after he asks why Kerry didn't push for the government to "impeach Bush", he gets tasered.

And you're telling me there isn't a God??

And on with the Blog...

From the Arnolds. (Note--McFly is not responsible for the comments of his readers--but encourages you all to submit your own blogs as he'll be gone for the majority of the next month. This one was left untouched--save the removal of the final line.)

I would like to be known as North Bends Most Wanted or NBMW for short.



Never Wear a Hat to a Strip Club



Since my daily driving average is over 100 miles I see a lot of things on the road that really make me think. The other day is one that keeps popping into my mind at the most uncanny times. It is something that you most likely see every day and especially during the late spring and summer months. I am talking about the graduation tassel on the review mirror.



The first thing that I was thinking about is what is the appropriate time line for leaving the tassel up? Is there a window where showing your accomplishment is acceptable before it becomes irrelevant? Say you just graduated high school can you leave your hat decoration up in your ride after you start attending college? If you don’t go to college can you just leave it in your hatchback for all the trailer park to see for eternity as a statement of superiority over the other degenerates while you complain that the government is messing up your lives because the NASCAR DirecTV package can’t be paid for with food stamps? Personally I think that there should be a three month window where displaying said accomplishment is acceptable and then you need to switch it back to the Puerto Rican flag or dream catcher that you usually have.



Secondly are there different scholarly triumphs that this ritual would be accepted? When a priest is ordained can he hang his collar on the mirror? If you actually tried in school and graduated with honors can you drape the yellow cords along with the tassel? Maybe if you graduated from trade school you can suspend your favorite wrench. Many people go for the subtle license plate frame declaring your alumni status, but what happens to graduates from Evergreen State University who can’t afford a car? Do they have to get a tattoo on their hitchhiking thumb in the school colors to differentiate the hippie status?



The third thing that came up is what are other lifetime acts that could warrant an iconic display? With your first promotion at work you could hang the neck tie. You completed your first marathon so dangle the shoe laces or your race number. You actually got asked to your first dance, put the corsage or boutonniere up there. I think you get the idea, you could have a lot of fun furnishing your car while obstructing your view.



Lastly were the victories that you should probably keep to yourself and out of your mode of transport. I made a list so you wouldn’t have to wonder:

· Condom from losing your virginity.

· Handcuffs from your first arrest.

· The bottle or can of substance that made you puke the first time.

· First bounced check.

· Remnants from the first time you got your ass kicked.

· Underwear from the first time you crapped/pissed yourself as an adult.

· Your latest STD exam, no matter what the results are.

· First syringe from shooting heroin.


So PLEASE--Submit your blogs!!! KEEP THE SHIP AFLOAT!!!!!


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