I genuinely could not care less who wins the Super Game. On one hand, we can all "be a part of history" by seeing the Patriots go undefeated--and we can avoid at least a full year of back-to-back Manning Super Bowl victory commercials.
And on the other hand, if the Giants win, we can finally shut up Mercury Morris.
But all told, I just don't care either way. I just want it to be over. Not as much because I'm tired of football---I'm not. I just know I have the next two weeks of dealing with people who wouldn't know a Cover 2 from their own ass asking each other what they're doing for "the game"?
Just do me this favor: DON'T ASK ME.
Because my guess is that you're the type of a**h*l* who would rather watch the commercials anyway...
I'm Coming for All of You...
Okay--so I've been doing some SERIOUS research for the upcoming Top 100 movies list---which I hope is done by Monday.
Thus far, in the cramming-period (since app. December 1) I've watched the following for the first time or the first time in ages:
Christmas with the Cranks (which by the way--is based on "Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham, and I think would have been a moderate success with its original title.)
Scrooged
Deck the Halls (which is inconceivably still playing on HBO)
Scarface
Braveheart
Gladiator
The Departed
The Breakfast Club
Fight Club
The Good Shepard
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
There Will Be Blood
Platoon
Johnny Be Good
And I'm hoping for 3-4 more before final publishing...
I only have one complaint:
Fight Club.
Or--not so much Fight Club as EVERY PERSON ON EARTH FOR SUGGESTING THAT I WATCH THAT PIECE OF SH*T MOVIE.
Could there be a worse movie?
Is it possible?
Is there a movie with less plot, more idiocy, and less realism?
If you haven't seen it, let me save you some time: He's schizophrenic--Brad Pitt's character doesn't really exist.
There.
Now you can save yourself two hours of absolute misery. I promise---someday you'll thank me for it.
I'm not kidding here--I am so angry at all of you for allowing me to watch this garbage. But I'll stop--I'm not getting anywhere...let's move on...
The Greatest of All Time
I watched Citizen Kane this weekend with my roommate. Generally considered to be the greatest movie of all-time, I figured that it was only appropriate that I watch it before making the second edition of the Top 100 movies...
Okay--maybe I'm not cultured. Or maybe the movie just didn't age well.
But REALLY?
Tolerable? Yes.
Borderline interesting? Maybe.
But the greatest movie of all-time?
No.
The Current Champion
LATE ADDITION: It was pointed out to me that I didn't even mention that the next section is about There Will Be Blood. My apologies.
In the same spirit, I decided that I'd break my normal rule of actually seeing the winners for Best Picture. (I realized upon checking that---assuming that it wins Best Picture---it will be the first that I've ever seen before it wins---and one of only a handful that I've actually seen.) (And at the time this is published, it has subsequently at least been NOMINATED for Best Picture, Director and Actor.)
So how was it?
-One of the people I was with started playing solitaire on her phone about an hour into the 2.5 hour movie.
-A woman I'd never seen before grabbed my arm after the conclusion and said, "WHAT DID THAT MEAN!?!?!?"
-At least five different scenes sent a rush of nervous laughter over the entire audience, as nobody knew how to react.
-I've never been to a movie where every single person who left, asking their friends and several strangers, "Why did they do _____?" "What did it mean when he ____?" And my personal favorite, "What the ______ was that?!?"
So here is my analysis, as it grew over time:
20 minutes in: There aren't going to be any words in this movie. Even The Bear had words in it...
50 minutes in: Okay--I know I hate that character---but I still don't understand what the hell is going on.
1 hour 20 minutes in: Please end soon.
1 hour 40 minutes in: Okay, that was interesting.
Conclusion: That was quite easily the strangest 2.5 hours of my life.
15 minutes after conclusion (and discussion): I guess the acting was good, but is it really a "masterpiece"? I don't know.
45 minutes after conclusion: This is just another dumb movie that people pretend to like because they think that they're supposed to.
3 hours after conclusion: Pure befuddling.
The next morning--12 hours after conclusion: Still don't know about the movie, but Daniel Day Lewis portrayal of the main character--Daniel Plainview--was probably the greatest individual acting job I've ever seen. And the character ranks up there with Vito Corleone (The Godfather), Melvin Udall (As Good as it Gets), Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs) and Mr. Miyagi (The Karate Kid) as the greatest individual characters in modern movie history. (No--that isn't a Miyagi joke---tell me he doesn't belong in that group.)
Monday Evening--48 hours after conclusion: I liked it. No--I liked it a lot. Not only do I think it is absolutely deserving of Best Picture (as though I've seen its competition), I also think that there is little doubt that it will find its way into my Top 100.
SO...
I recommend it.
I make no guarantees that you'll like it--in fact you may in fact absolutely hate it.
But you should see it--because it is remarkably unique and imaginative. I'm still not entirely certain what it means or what it will mean---but you should absolutely see it. It is like nothing you've ever seen.
(Pardon me as I remove it from my mouth...)
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