2.20.08

More insights on Hip-hop...


Two more realizations from my new life as a rap connoisseur:

-Now that we've Found Love by Heavy D. and the Boys is the best bubble-gum rap song of the 90s and doesn't get nearly enough attention. Someone is going to do an emo-remake of this song and BLOW. UP.

-I can't decide what the most-romantic song of the past five years has been. I keep going back and forth between Remix to Ignition and The Seed. Both of them pretty well tell the story of a man's deep-rooted love of a woman.

About Time...

I heard this morning that Dave Niehaus is finally being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He's the best play-by-play guy I've ever heard...and while he's slipped a bit in his latter years, Seattle is still the only place in the country I'd rather listen to a game than watch it on television.

Congrats, Dave.


With Help from Satan...

I only (to my knowledge) have one reader who worships the devil.

Now---you'd think that that would be a contradiction, what with me being a Bible-thumping, God-fearing type...but the truth of the matter is that once in a while, this hell-spawn actually has a good idea. (Not that that stems from his Satan-worshipping--but it is the reason that I continue to listen to his ridiculousness...)

Poise in caint:

People spend days, weeks, and as much as nine months (or nine months and six nameless days in my case) obsessing over what they call their children.

It is an important decision, but history has given options that, while uncreative, still allow your kid to be normal. No child has ever been jaded by being named Jack, Jill, John or Jane (except for my friend whose last name is "Mehoffbehinda7-11"). They're all legitimate and acceptable standbys.

Sure--you may want to name your kid with a last name like every girl seems to want right now...or maybe you want to name it "Apple" or "Suri" or "Sh*tface"...but you had easy options and it was your choice to ignore them.

HOWEVER...

The first words that this child says will forever determine the child's future. And it isn't as if you can control it---generations of father have mouthed the word, "DA-DEE" to infants, only for them to blurt out, "Boobie" as their first word. Kids are sponges, and therefore every single thing you say between their birth and their 21st birthday can turn into the word or phrase that goes down in the Baby Book as Timmy's 1st. Or even worse--you could blurt some ridiculous phrase out and have your 2-year-old decide that it will be his phrase du jour for the next 11 years.



Screw it. I don't know what category these fall under...just don't let your kids say them...




So--what with all of my idiot friends deciding that raising children is a good idea--I thought it would make sense to put together of things that you may want to avoid entirely. Here we go...

-Any words that rhyme with "hunt".

-"Vote for Hillary"

(Since writing this the other day, this has almost become moot. Am I the only person who loves the fact that Bill Clinton has intentionally screwed up his wife's campaign? What a beauty...)

-"Go Zags!"

-"Peanuts"

(Don't understand the last one? Imagine the kid pointing at his grandfather's crotch and yelling it.)

-"Soccer"

-"I'm going to R. Kelly's house."

-"Pass the mayonnaise."

-"Turn on the Groz!"

-"Coach Sampson knows best."

-"More Dr. Pepper, please?"

-"Can I bum a smoke?"

-"I'm on the Curtis Diet."

-"Alex is keen."

(Confused? That's what Alex P. Keaton taught his baby brother Andy. It's actually a great thing to learn...but I just wanted to include it.)

-"Irregardless"

-"When can I join the union?"

And finally...of course...

-"Willingham"

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Peace out players.

mcflyblogs@gmail.com