2.27.08

Musical Highs and Lows...

High:
I have (as usual) lost interest in American Idol now that people are actually trying to...you know...succeed.

But I stumbled into it last night, and for the first hour and fourteen minutes I was tremendously underwhelmed. There has been so much hype about how this is "the most-talented" group in the show's history, but it was (as Simon Cowell would say) bad karaoke. (Particularly "David Cook" whom my friend Ian is calling--in classy form--"Corky".)

Then it all changed.

Seventeen year-old David Archuleta---who was already the clear-cut favorite---proved that he was the most-talented person on the show since Kelli Clarkson.

He may have peaked too early--and he may not win. But it doesn't matter.

The next ten years for this kid are going to be unimaginable.

He'll go octuple platinum in his first week, and in the game-department, he's going to be rivaling Tom Brady and even me! I mean---there were about 5,000 high school aged girls last night that were impregnated just by listening to that song last night!

And I know that man-crushes are the thing these days----is it creepy to have a man-crush on a seventeen-year-old, partially-effeminate boy? If that means I'm a pederast, than FINE! If I get 1 % of his lifetime earnings, pederast I am!

Low:

24 Hour Fitness isn't exactly known for phenomenal music selection...but today was a new low.

As I walked out of the locker room, I heard lyrics that I knew, but couldn't place.

Turns out that I (and all of the other gym-goers) were listening to a techno-cover of "She's Like the Wind" from Dirty Dancing.

I mean---at first it was odd, but when you have an Ecstasy-induced buzz going, that "She leads me through moonlight, only to burn me with the sun" line really gets your blood going.


And if that wasn't bad enough, they added doo-wop back-up singers to it in place of the solos.

Seriously?

Can you imagine the conversation at an...I don't know...music convention?

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Good--so--are you an artist?"

"Yeah--I play drums for Coldplay."

"Wow--how did you get the gig?"

"Well---I knew the guy who did it previously. When he left, I got a tryout and it stuck."

"Wow, cool."

"Yeah--are you a performer?"

"I am, yeah."

"Really---who are you with?"

"Oh--I do doo-wop backup vocals for the guy who does techno covers to Patrick Swayze songs."

(Silence.)

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Sorry I've been half-assing it of late. Short on time...

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